file under “songs that hit too close to home” and “it hurts but it’s cathartic so what do i do?”
Anonymous asked: this literally happens every 2 years. it's football and it's especially rm. switch to some other club if you can't handle it.
Those were the best nights, the best you have of him. Crowd noise from the television in his study, his big blonde-furred hand in a fist, in tense moments pounding out a slow rhythm on the arm of his recliner: you, rapt and silent on the floor. The smell of his cigarettes, of his day’s perspiration. Just the two of you in the house. He never spoke.
Only once did he say a word to you during the game. You had mentioned, timidly, that you were sorry to see Morientes loaned out. You had always liked Mori.
His jaw tightened. He did not respond — until the whistle blew for halftime, and then he turned on you snake-fast. He seized the collar of your Power Rangers t-shirt in his mighty fist.
"This happens literally every two years," he hissed. His breath stank of tobacco and cheap whiskey. You could see lipstick on his collar, the traces of the women he continually brought home when your mother was away. "It’s football and it’s especially RM. Switch to some other club if you can’t handle it.”
He flung you away as contemptuously as if you were a sick dog who had grazed his trouser leg in an alley. You were soaked in his disgust, chilled by it. It was like an emotional version of the the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, but terrible and not fun at all.
You vowed then that you would never again bring shame upon yourself. You would never love soccer football the wrong way. You would never permit anyone else to do so either. You crawled back to your place at his feet. You would never be a fool again. Never.